Written by: SUSAN PODBIELSKI, Psychotherapist
Fear of failure runs deep in the lives of high-achieving women. Research consistently shows that women report significantly higher levels of fear of failure than men — and that when women do fear failure, they are more likely to experience anxiety and depression as a result (Purvanova & Muros, 2010).In a world where girls still receive covert messages about being perfect and agreeable, boys are encouraged to take risks and view failure as learning experiences which build resilience (Borgonovi & Han, 2021).
The workplace reinforces these patterns. Women are underrepresented in leadership positions creating increased scrutiny when they do reach the top and generating pressure that increases the fear of failure. Women frequently encounter a “prove-it-again” bias, where they must repeatedly demonstrate competence while male colleagues get the benefit of the doubt. There are just a few women who openly discuss their failures and recoveries, leaving many women without role models for navigating professional disappointments, and causing those who do encounter setbacks to feel isolated. All of this leaves high-achieving women particularly susceptible to burnout.
Fear of failure casts a long shadow over professional trajectories, influencing women’s every decision (McKinsey, 2023) Some specific ways fear of failure affects women:
** Reluctance
to negotiate for a higher salary
** Avoidance of
projects with high visibility and greater reward (and risk) potential
**Playing it
safe rather than suggesting innovative ideas.
**Difficulty
delegating
**Hesitation to
make decisive calls.
** Overworking
to prevent any possibility of error
** Failing to set boundaries at work due to fear of being considered uncommitted
It’s important to understand the complex relationship between fear of failure and burnout, particularly in high-achieving women. Fear of failure triggers the body’s stress response, activating fight-or-flight mechanisms that evolved early for physical threats but now activates every time one is under pressure. This chronic activation leads to persistent anxiety symptoms further affecting the capacity to think and perform. Physical problems such as racing heart, shallow breathing, poor digestion—frequently arise in high-pressure situations, all of which are challenging for women already juggling complicated careers and personal demands such as childcare.
This further leads to catastrophic thinking about potential outcomes. Minor mistakes become career-ending disasters rather than normal workplace occurrences. In my experience — and this is supported by a growing body of research on gender and workplace stress — professional women report spending a disproportionate amount of mental energy managing anxiety about potential failure. This mental load, largely invisible to colleagues and organizations, accumulates quietly and results in burnout.
Black-and-white thinking that categorizes outcomes as either perfect or disastrous, blurs the distinction between minor setbacks and major failures. There is a persistent overestimation of both the probability and consequences of failure, creating a distorted risk assessment that limits professional risk-taking.
For professional women fear of failure can become particularly debilitating as these patterns reinforce each other. Without intervention, the cycle creates long-term burnout, avoidance behaviors that restrict growth, and a narrow professional identity around “what I know I can do” rather than what is possible. The personal impact even goes even deeper. Chronic stress creates health problems ranging from cardiovascular issues to immune suppression. Confidence and self-efficacy erode with each opportunity that is avoided. Work-life imbalance deepens as women overcompensate through excessive preparation and perfectionism. Perhaps most poignantly, persistent fear of failure diminishes the joy and fulfillment available through a career, as attention focuses on preventing mistakes rather than creating contributions.
Resilience is the antidote to fear failure. Where fear of failure interprets setbacks as evidence of personal flaws, resilience views those same experiences as valuable learning opportunities that contribute to growth. Shifting this perspective—from fixed to growth mindset—transforms the meaning of professional difficulties, reducing their power to diminish confidence or limit future risk-taking. The resilient view values progress over perfection and understands setbacks as temporary rather than permanent reflections of ability.
Resilience
represents the dynamic capacity to adapt positively in the face of adversity
and challenge. It enables maintaining
functionality during challenging circumstances without becoming overwhelmed by
them. Resilient individuals recover effectively from setbacks, processing the
experience without being defined by it.
Developing
resilience after career disappointments requires a multi-faceted approach:
2. Mindfulness
practices create mental distance from negative experiences, allowing
observation of thoughts without attachment.
3. Emotional
regulation: Learning to acknowledge emotions without judging them allows women
to process disappointment, frustration, and embarrassment without being
overwhelmed.
4. Self-compassion
practices—treating oneself with the same kindness one would offer a respected
colleague facing similar circumstances—counteracts the harsh self-criticism
that often follows professional setbacks
5. Behavioral
approaches: Developing new skills in response to identified weaknesses
transforms vulnerabilities into growth opportunities. Practicing deliberate
risk-taking in incremental steps builds capacity to engage with uncertainty—a
critical capability for advancement.
6. Physical
wellbeing: Prioritizing sleep, nutrition, and exercise provides the
physiological resources necessary for managing stress effectively. Implementing
meditation, breathing practices, and time in nature can manage high-pressure
periods. Establishing clear limits between work and recovery time prevents
depletion from chronic stress.
7. Professional support: When challenges are extreme, therapy and coaching can provide specialized resources. Group coaching interventions for women executives have been shown to be especially effective. (Dwinga & Terblanche, 2024).
These
approaches to burnout build a tolerance for discomfort, allowing women to
pursue challenging opportunities despite their anxious feelings. They create
emotional distance from any single event or result. Perhaps most importantly, they reinforce a
core belief that separates self-worth from achievements or disappointments and
helps maintain a stable sense of value no matter what setbacks one inevitably
faces.
References:
Borgonovi, F., & Han, S. W. (2021). Gender disparities in fear of failure among 15-year-old students. Journal of Adolescence, 86(1), 28–39.
McKinsey & Company and LeanIn.org. (2023). Women in the Workplace 2023. https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace
Purvanova, R. K., & Muros, J. P. (2010). Gender
differences in burnout: A meta-analysis. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 77(2),
168–185.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2010.04.006
Susan Podbielski, LMHC is a New York City–based psychotherapist who specializes in helping ambitious, high-achieving women navigate anxiety, depression, trauma, perfectionism, self-doubt, and burnout. Based on the Upper West Side and offering telehealth throughout New York, she provides a practical, collaborative, and compassionate approach to therapy designed to create meaningful, measurable change.
Susan works especially well with professionals who are driven, capable, and outwardly successful, yet privately struggling with overwhelm, imposter syndrome, fear of failure, or difficulty setting boundaries. Her style is honest, supportive, and solution-focused, combining deep insight with concrete tools clients can apply in everyday life. Her therapeutic approach is tailored to each individual and draws from evidence-based modalities including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), mindfulness, self-compassion practices, and psychodynamic psychotherapy.
Psychotherapy is Susan’s second career and true calling. Before entering the mental health field, she worked as a professional television producer and writer, bringing firsthand understanding of high-pressure environments and the emotional toll they can take. She holds a Master’s in Mental Health Counseling, has over 10 years of clinical experience, and is licensed to practice in New York.
AFTERMATH:
What Burnout Is Trying to Tell Us
By
Dr. Robert L. Bard, MD, DABR, FAIUM, FASLMS
As a physician whose life’s work has centered on detection, interpretation, and early intervention, I found Susan Podbielski’s paper on burnout in women to be not only timely, but clinically important. In medicine, we are trained to look for clues—subtle signs, hidden patterns, and early warnings that something deeper is happening beneath the surface. Susan’s work does exactly that. She gives voice to the emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and physiological signals that too often go unnoticed until they evolve into something far more disruptive.
What Susan describes is not simply
stress. It is a progressive overload of the mind and body—often fueled
by fear of failure, perfectionism, chronic overperformance, emotional
suppression, and the invisible burden carried by so many high-achieving women.
These are not abstract concepts. They are real patterns with real consequences.
And from a diagnostic standpoint, they matter.
My mission has always been to
support the science of early detection and prevention. Whether we are
studying inflammatory disorders, vascular changes, chronic pain, cognitive
decline, or the physiologic impact of long-term stress, one principle remains
true: the body leaves clues long before collapse occurs. Burnout is no
different. It often shows itself through exhaustion, disrupted sleep, poor
concentration, shallow breathing, chronic tension, mood instability, hormonal
imbalance, and loss of resilience. These are signals—not inconveniences.
This is why Susan’s message aligns so powerfully with the emerging work being done in brain health, neuroplasticity, and cognitive rehabilitation. When we begin to recognize burnout not merely as an emotional issue but as a measurable and preventable decline in mental and physical function, we open the door to a more advanced model of care. One that listens earlier. One that investigates deeper. One that supports recovery before damage becomes entrenched.
I strongly support Susan’s effort to
illuminate these warning signs, particularly for women who have been
conditioned to ignore them in the name of achievement, caregiving, or
professional survival. Her paper is an important contribution to the broader
conversation on wellness, performance, and mental resilience.
In my view, burnout should never be
dismissed as “just part of life.” It is often the aftermath of prolonged
internalized pressure—and also the beginning of an opportunity: to detect
sooner, intervene smarter, and restore the human system before it breaks down.
That is where prevention begins.
— Dr. Robert L. Bard
MD, DABR, FAIUM, FASLMS















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